Sunday, February 23, 2014

Can a Boy and a Girl Be 'Just Friends?'

"I know. I'll never understand why everybody puts so much emphasis on January first.
There are three hundred and sixty-four other days in the year that you can make a change."
--Elizabeth Eulberg, Better Off Friends


Genre: YA Contemporary
Publisher: Point
Pages: 288
Publication Date: February 25th, 2014
Source: ARC provided by publisher via Liza at Who R U Blog---Thank you!
Find on Goodreads
Previous Books in Series: Standalone
Goodreads Description

 For Macallan and Levi, it was friends at first sight. Everyone says guys and girls can’t be just friends, but these two are. They hang out after school, share tons of inside jokes, their families are super close, and Levi even starts dating one of Macallan’s friends. They are platonic and happy that way.

Eventually they realize they’re best friends — which wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t keep getting in each other’s way. Guys won’t ask Macallan out because they think she’s with Levi, and Levi spends too much time joking around with Macallan, and maybe not enough time with his date. They can’t help but wonder . . . are they more than friends or are they better off without making it even more complicated?

From romantic comedy superstar Elizabeth Eulberg comes a fresh, fun examination of a question for the ages: Can guys and girls ever really be just friends? Or are they always one fight away from not speaking again — and one kiss away from true love?

It is the age old question that has been asked since the dawn of time and we still don't have a straight answer for it...

Can a girl and a guy be 'just friends?'

Better Off Friends by Elizabeth Eulberg is a YA Contemporary that I fell hard in love with. I think this was one of the cutest and most adorable YA love stories ever. Y'all know how I feel about fluff and while this book does deal with real life issues, the foundation is the friendship of Macallan and Levi.

You guys! I loooooved this book! It was fun and light and I loved the characters. The dynamic between Macallan and Levi is unmatched. They banter, they tease, they fight, and what I love most is that even when they both believe they are 'just freinds' they both hold so much stock in their friendship that neither will risk hurting the other one. *sigh* They are each other's person and I couldn't get enough of this book!

AND it takes place in Wisconsin! Holla!!! Books NEVER take place here! I loved the Packers references, the Culver's--where the custard is AMAZING and unlike anything else you've ever eaten--and the midwestern town feel. It made me love my state even more.

SO! Let's get to the meat of the situation here and ask ourselves this...

Can guys and girls just be friends?

To answer this I've given my own opinion as well as asked a few experts aka my closest blogging friends for their opinion on this hard-hitting question.

Cass from Books With Cass

"Easy. Yes, I truly think a guy and girl can be just friends. Some of my best friends growing up were guys, and they offer a different perspective and are some of the best friends a girl could have! Of course some guys and girls can't be friends but that's cuz they were destined for more ;). Just sayin!"

Hannah from So Obsessed With

"Ahhh! This question kills me. I'm always so torn! On one hand, I do think that guys and girls can be just friends because I definitely had some great guy friends growing up. But, at the same time, I also kinda think that there's almost always one person who likes the other person more. I secretly suspect there's one person who would be willing to be more than friends if the other person did too."


Betty from Book Rock Betty

"NO FREAKING WAY. Someone always feels something even if it is just a random blip..... I've always had mostly guy friends and 90% of those ended up as something more, or one person stuck feeling awkward, a drunken kiss, or at least the occasional check out! I'm not sure I've ever experienced a 100% platonic friendship with a member of the opposite sex. I've come close, but that would mean admitting to never imagining it, considering it, or even checking out his butt.... same goes for his side of the equation. yeah, not likely. Flirting, even in a friendly way is still SOMETHING."

Rachel from hello, chelly

"I've been asked this before and I think I've given a different answer each time. I haven't really had a lot of guy friends and honestly, most of those friendships got complicated. But I do think it's possible for a guy and a girl to be just good friends. I just don't doubt that one person (or maybe both people!) at some point might wonder if there's the potential to be more either. But a little curiosity doesn't mean you aren't just friends, right? :)"


Alexa from Alexa Loves Books

"A guy and a girl can be friends, and just friends, but only with conditions. I feel like there's a line that can't be crossed when it comes to intimacy, physical or emotional or what. It also helps if the guy in question is a relative or might as well be one (like a super close family friend or a brother-in-law). These days, I only have 2 really close guy friends, and 1 that's a really good friend who I don't see all that often.

HOWEVER. That line is super blurry and all too easy to cross! It's happened to me before, and to way too many people I know as well. So there's that! There's always potential for interest/spark to find its way out into the open with a boy-girl friendship."



Asheley from Into the Hall of Books

"I do think guys and gals can be just friends...as long as you know that is what you are. One of my greatest friends is a guy and there is a respect and a line that we just do not cross. Also, there are certainly some things that we can't and don't talk about because both of us are in regular relationships. It's just a trust thing - knowing who I click with and vice versa, and allowing myself the room to continue/have this friendship despite both of us being attached AND both of us respecting necessary boundaries.

I am fortunate, I think, because I think this particular friendship is kind of rare. But I may be wrong about that. "


Estelle from Rather Be Reading

"Ugh. The only guy friend I have at the moment is my ex (who is gay) and that's basically it. But it hasn't been smooth sailing with the newer people I've met and I'm always like WHY. This is why I don't know how to answer this question anymore. You would think it would be easier once you are married (maybe?!?) but it's really just. Infuriating. haha. It reminds me of that saying from when we are kids... "boys just don't mature as fast as girls do."

My Thoughts?

This is hard to answer without me sounding like a douche. But I'm gonna try. Do I believe guys and girls can be just friends? Yes. I have had lots of guy friends my whole life and this is a question I debate frequently. I have several very close guy friends but what keeps them in the friends zone is that I am not attracted to them. This is my stance on when and why guys and girls can be just friends--no attraction can occur.

With that said, most of my platonic intergender friendships started with said guy friend having a crush on me. Oops? Sorry not sorry? I have always gotten along with guys well--no drama, no bullshit, just friendship. In high school, I really only had guy friends. NO, they didn't all have crushes on me but a few did so I personally have drawn the line in these relationships. Would these friendships have turned into relationships had I wanted it? Probably.

But therein lies the answer. Obviously I have quite an opinion on the matter because I always have people asking me why I'm not dating so-and-so. I just don't feel it. It doesn't make me a bad person or them any less great. I have AMAZING guy friends but I just don't see them that way and never will. So my answer is vague and it doesn't really fit a yes or a no answer. I believe they can be friends if there is no attraction BUT it's usually the case that one or the other party will always have some thoughts on taking it to the next level.

So you have our thoughts but what are yours?...

Can a guy and a girl be 'just friends?'


Huge thanks to Liza at WhoRUBlog for organizing this blog tour and the signed giveaway!!!


a Rafflecopter giveaway

20 comments:

  1. I've already given my answer to your question! But I do like seeing what everyone else had to say about it. All the different opinions are really interesting. Also, your thoughts on BETTER OFF FRIENDS are making me look forward to reading it even more!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, this sounds good! And I definitely think guys and girls can just be friends. One of my best friends at high school was a boy, and I have quite a few others now. I think it's silly that some people think you can't be just friends with someone, just because they have different genetalia to you. (Sorry, Betty!) I would never look at some of my guy friends that way, and I honestly don't think they would ever think sexual or romantic things about me. It's like saying gay people can't be friends with people of their own gender. Are bisexual people not meant to have friends at all? Do they go around wanting to jump people all the time? No one is attracted to everyone in their preferred gender, so I agree with you.

    Sorry, I have some strong feelings. I didn't mean to get all ranty in your comments, haha. And YES, I had a lot of people ask me if I was dating so-and-so in high school. NO, we were just friends!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Amber! I see your point, but I find it hard to believe that never even the tiniest thought would EVER cross a person's mind. In my experience, I've come close, but can't say any guy/girl relationship I've had has been 100% without any form of a romantic thought on either end. One person always seems to have some sort of feeling at some point-- whether it lasts or doesn't last or is even ever admitted! :) I also feel this way because a lot of qualities I look for in friends... are what I looked for romantically. So it was an easy line to cross.

      Delete
  3. I've already told you up there what I think about a guy and girl being just friends as long as they are both in sync with their intentions and careful and respectful and doggone it, I STAND BY IT! My pal is the best. That being said, this is the first post I've read about this book, including the synopsis, and it sounds so cute. I love guy-girl friendship books of all types so I need to read this one too! Love your enthusiasm, Kelly! Thanks for including me! xo

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yes of course. It's not like I want to be in a relationship with every guy I befriend!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I loved reading all the opinions. I agree with you - the attraction can't be there if you want to remain friends. Otherwise, things will get complicated. But if you're not single, I think it's much easier to have guy friends. There are certain lines you don't want to cross, but already having someone you love makes having guy friends easier.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This sounds really interesting! I have seen some reviews of this one, but I never read the reviews because I kinda put this book in my mental "pass shelf." But you've got me intrigued!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hmmm, such a good question. I really liked reading everyone else's thoughts on this! I want to say yes, that guys and girls can be just friends. I had good guy friends in high school and I think I have more guy friends in dental school now than girls. however! I do think the attraction thing is key -- if you're not attracted to them then it's pretty easy to be just friends. I do think that it can get complicated though. I also think it's easier when each person is involved already -- like my guy friends in school now are married.

    ReplyDelete
  8. It is great seeing what everyone had to say. This post reminded me of a youtube video I watched a while ago called why men and women can't be friends.I thought it was hilarious. Here is the link if you want to watch it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA

    ReplyDelete
  9. I really don't think guys and girls can be really good, excellent JUST friends. I have a lot of thoughts on this and I'm going to be doing my own post on it in the future, so I don't really want to get into it here, but it's definitely a tough questions - one I've had to ask myself in really tough spots in the past. And it's never an easy answer to give myself, since I guess my brain is broken and I just want to hang out with people and share my feelings and what have you, but apparently that's just not how the world works. :/

    ReplyDelete
  10. Absolutely they can be just friends!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm so glad you did your post like this! Came out great. I just wrote my review for this yesterday & I was still struggling what I thought about this question. AHH. haha

    ReplyDelete
  12. I love how you did this post! And thank you again for including me :) It's a great discussion and I don't know if my mind will ever be fully made up as to whether or not guys and girls can be JUST friends.

    ReplyDelete
  13. It sounds really cute!
    As to the question: I think a guy and a girl can be friends, but a lot of times one of them develops romantic feelings and if you can't get past this, then the friendship suffers I think. I have a couple of guy friends and hanging out with them is just so comfortable!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ultimately, yes, but it's VERY easy to cross the line. I know that from experience - I was friends with at least 4 different guys, feelings developed, and it all ended badly.

    ReplyDelete
  15. They can definetly be friends. I've had guy friends in the past and still do and a lot of them don't end up in romance.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I think they can! I'm friends with guys and we don't cross the boundaries. We always could though. But I'd rather not. :P

    ReplyDelete
  17. Yup, I think so. I think it's harder when you're in high school or college...but I'm definitely good friends with a lot of guys now that I'm a bit older. I think best friends is harder, though - but just good friends? Definitely.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Better Off Friends is by far my favorite book of Elizabeth everr! I want more of Macallan and Levi!

    I do believe guy/girl can be just friends, i for one experienced it and my guy bestfriend is still just my bestfriend and i'm glad we're just friends and not more. Haha.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I think that it is very rare, but I do think it is absolutely possible. My husband has been friends with a girl since middle school, and they were never more than friends. I have met her, and I love her. They just always felt and behaved like brothers and sisters. So, yes I do think that it can happen! And I cannot wait to read this book. I have heard great things!

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...