Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Learning To Love Yourself Round 2

Genre: New Adult Contemporary
Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks
Pages: 400
Publication Date: April 29th, 2014
Goodreads Description

Will their past determine their future?

Saint Ford has worked hard to achieve her childhood dream of becoming of nurse. Focused on her work and devoted to her patients, there’s no room for love. She doesn’t need a guy making waves in her calm, serene life—especially when he’s the unforgettable hottie who nearly destroyed her in high school. Dark, brooding Nash Donovan might not remember her or the terrible pain he caused. But he turned her world upside down... and now he’s trying to do it again.

Saint has no idea that Nash isn’t the cocky player he once was. Uncovering a devastating family secret has rocked his world, and now he’s struggling to figure out his future. He can’t be distracted by the pretty nurse he seems to meet everywhere. Still, he can’t ignore the sparks that fly between them —or how she seems so desperate to get away from him. But the funny, sweet, and drop-dead gorgeous Saint is far too amazing to give up on—especially since she’s the only thing in his life that seems to make sense.

When Nash discovers the truth about their past, he realizes he may have lost her heart before he could even fight for it. Now, Saint has to decide: is Nash worth risking herself for all over again?

WHEN I First Read
April 2014

WHAT I Remember
Falling absolutely head over heels in love with Nash and finding a book character so closely aligned with myself it freaked me the fuck out. But ya know, like in a good way. Saint is me...Saint is so creepily me I just can't get over it. Her struggle to self-acceptance and letting somebody love her is just...so heart-wrenching and beautiful. And Nash...NASH?!? Nash became a solid top 10 book boyfriend and when I made lists for book boyfriends after this book, I always came back to him. His relationship with Phil is just...ALL THE FEELS, okay? This book is all the feels. Everything. All of it. All my love.

WHY I Wanted to Re-Read
Because I had such an intense connection with these characters and this book, I really wanted to see if I would feel as strongly about it the second time around...I was nervous...

HOW I Felt After Re-Reading
...and there was no reason to be. Case in point: I started crying when I was on page 1. Pathetic. I just feel so strongly with what Saint is going through that it breaks my heart. High school is awful and people are cruel. It's so difficult to get over those wounds and unless you've been through you just don't understand. That fine line between wanting to believe somebody can love you vs waiting for history to repeat itself again and blow up in your face is a deep, deep wound on your soul. And I said ti in my original review how hurt I am when people don't understand her and her actions. It makes me see red. Like...raging bull at a cape red. I periodically cried on and off throughout this whole book because it is just so beautiful and agonizing and honest and raw and true. Don't even get me STARTED on Phil and how much I love him. So hard it hurts. Nash and Phil's relationship is just so emotional and deep. They love each other so much and how all the guys see Phil and that he saved them could make me cry just thinking about it. This brethren of lost souls wouldn't even exist if it weren't for Phil and his huge heart taking them under his wing. Oh fuck, now I'm crying at the cafe I'm sitting in while typing. Dammit dammit fuck. Ok, you get my point...*sniff*...

WOULD You Re-Read Again?
A thousand times yes. The things I learned after re-reading this book are as follows...
1. This will be an annual re-read for me. 
2. Nash has SOLIDIFIED his position as my number 2 book boyfriend EVER. Y'all know how serious those words are coming from me.
3. This book made it on to my 'All the Stars' shelf on Goodreads...and very few books make it onto that list.
4. Saint will forever remind me of myself and the struggle I went through and still go through because I'm still looking for my Nash.

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