It's not a boy. Well, not a romantic boy. And it's many girls. I have struggled with finding my tribe of people to call my own my whole life. I don't have that childhood friend I've known since I was 4. I never had a great group of girlfriends who all hung out together. I had a horrific middle school and high school experience but I'm not here to tell a sob story just giving a background. I've never really had good connections with friends. It wasn't until I got my first job out of college working on a floor with a lot of younger women that I felt like I found a group of people to call close friends.
Fast forward 6 years and I talk to none of them. After I started travel nursing I found out who my true friends were pretty quickly. One person continued to stay in contact, and trust me when I say I tried with other people to no avail, but that didn't last long. LONG story short, 3 years later, 2 massively broken friendships, numerous people talking untruthful shit about me behind my back and me 3,000 miles away with no way to defend myself, I'm back home. About to start work again at the same company all these people still work. Am I worried? No. Because I came to the harsh realization not too long ago that if somebody doesn't take the time to foster a friendship with me, why am I going out of my way to contact them?
It took me--yet again--way too long to figure out that people who want you in their lives, make it a priority to include you. If they don't, they are irrelevant people. And I don't feel bad about saying that. When you have no respect or kindness for other people's feelings, when you don't stand by somebody who was a good friend to you, and when you're still in the same damn place I left you 3 years ago, you're irrelevant. This book--and this quote--helped me feel like it's okay to not deal with irrelevant people. Because if I'm being honest, I was and still am, a little apprehensive about the moment when I know I have to come in contact with these people again but after reading this I care a lot less.
I am me, I live my life, I have friends who actually care about who I am and my well-being and that's all I can ask for. My inner circle is very small but I like it that way. I can't exert energy towards people who don't care and forget you when you leave the room. I refuse to fake it with people I couldn't care less about. And I will not feel bad for thinking any of this. Some people live by a different code and I'd rather surround myself with people who are like-minded than waste time on those who are irrelevant and have zero direction in their life. I just need to be quicker at spotting them for the future.